Don’t take my words literally, and jumped right out of your seat wondering why in the world would a supposedly loving mother of 3 children, would start advising me to stop caring for others.
Completely the opposite.
I want you to be selective of whom you’ve decided to care for. It’s important that the act of caring should (as far as possible) be something that can benefit you in more ways than one – and I am not referring to monetary benefits. Caring is a beautiful act, but one that takes quite the investment of time and more importantly – emotions. From the years we experience dealing with people who come and go in our lives, we can be too guarded over time being extra careful not because we didn’t want to get hurt but because we were often hurt before.
Don’t get trapped inside.
When I first started sharing my thoughts about starting a small business selling hair accessories from home, the first reaction from the people close to me was to drop that idea. And if I had cared about what they think, then that first business which went on to supply 18 countries today would not be possible. That chain of possibility leading me to be the business owner I am today, which sounded unimaginable when I was a stay home mother back then, happened because I did not let negativity or opposing opinions get to my heart, and especially my head.
The success – of every possibility of that – starts with you.
Your circumstances and your network plays a role to how your eventual success will look like, but the possibility to be successful largely depend on you. Starting from the belief you have in yourself combined with the passion for idea and impact you intend to create, every obstacle that is coming is guaranteed to be overcome by you. Because you have the will, guts and desire to achieve something, hence blocking off all kinds of distraction and rise above every set back.
But sometimes caring for someone else, or their opinions change your course.
In this case, we are referring to the feedback of certain people in your life that seemed to degrade you more than upgrading you. Feedback or opinions are welcome, and encouraged to be accepted and analysed by an individual for the purpose of constructing, improving and rectifying. But if opinions starts to diminish hope, extinguish determination, drain energy and consumes you with negativity that you can no longer contain – then you need to stop caring for these opinions.
Honestly, people’s opinions of you are none of your business.
A common saying, we’ve heard it before. Opinions of you held by others, are often influenced and fragmented from the person’s preferred perception of you. And it may not be in your favour or benefit, or accompanied with the intention to make sure you don’t succeed by trapping you inside. People structure their opinions, or open comments to what you do or how you went because their motive was to make you stop yourself from moving forward and progressing. The easiest and fastest way, is to stop you instead of everything in your circumstance.
Feel the ultimate freedom.
I truly sense an immense of freedom three years ago, when I truly embraced the act of caring more of myself then anyone else who tried to degrade me with their opinions. With social media, criticism has been an open remark that I could not miss but I’ve learnt to take it with a pinch of salt. People are limited to move forward, at a faster pace or chase their dreams because someone in some way (even themselves sometimes) have provoke their thoughts to cultivate doubt in themselves. Which is why, when this barricade is removed in the way of you taking risks, having guts to chase dreams and fighting against all odds – the freedom is phenomenal.
Their opinions do not determine your success, yours do. Your opinions matter. Your judgement of yourself matters most.
People think they fail, because they ignored opinions of people in the first place who claimed that they were bound to fail. I used to think that. I initially felt foolish to dream of running large size companies when people think it’s beyond my capacity to do so. At some point, I did encounter failures and the people came back to add salt to the wound saying “See I told you so.”
But I know for a fact, my success is dependent on a lot of things – circumstances, funding, knowledge and network. This does not include their opinions of me. I failed before because I lack in one or all these areas, and I saw that as a way to improve my knowledge, build more experiences, be more creative to find solutions to recover from circumstances I cannot change. It’s me, that can fail myself and can recover myself. My failure, or success for the matter, is not dependent on what other people’s opinions are of me.
You know yourself best.
No one knows you more than yourself. You changed every day, and it’s impossible for anyone to see that change first hand let alone understand the new person you evolved to become with each passing day. What does this mean? This means that you are waking up to knowing a better you, knowing first hand what your new capabilities are, and the new knowledge you’ve acquired. You are the only person, fit and suitable, to conclude what you can or cannot do. Or what you want to do or otherwise.
You are powerful.
Your will is one of the most powerful driver, on top of having a powerful mind. These two are catalysts to accelerate your success to many more levels you’re dreaming of today. But just imagine, if you had let every single opinions that came along to change your opinions of yourself. Was it worth letting go of the confidence, and willingness to chase dreams just because someone’s perception of you says you are incapable?
No one is worth the price of your dreams.
Dreams and ambitions are important, it sets a purpose in a life of an individual that sets him or her on an amazing journey of self discovery and impacting others. You never know where your dreams will take you, but you are guaranteed of failure when you limit yourself from finding out in the first place.
Doubt have killed dreams more than failures did.
Don’t let someone else’s opinions plant doubts in you when you started out believing in yourself enough.
Under pressure or not, you will thrive regardless when you’ve learn to stop caring what other people’s opinions of you are. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and individualised perception of you but you are NEVER obligated to agree with them. You are your own person, freedom is solely your luxury to own and your opportunities are your decisions to seize.
Thanks for your opinion.
You are welcome to appreciate opinions, but be wise and smart enough to analyse what’s worth pondering, taking action or completely ignored.